Okay Rachel, I'm trying to pretend I'm Amish and I'm chuck full o'forgiveness. I just can't get past the bonnet and the dress though. I'd almost rather be a Jehovah's Witness. At least like the ones I personally know drink and sleep around. They're horrible with the forgiveness but they have a hell of a good time.
My mom's over at the seestor's house, nursing her surgery'd shoulder. You see, my sister's purse is so full of money that it caused her to tear her rotater cuff, thereby having to have it sewn back into place. At least that's the reason I've made up in my head because we know that my seestor is no athlete who tore it during pitching practice.
Heh. My seestor, an athlete. A one-eyed athlete. Team Cyclops. That's mean. What's she gonna do, hit me with her purse? She can't lift her arm! Ha!
You gotta love her. When she's down, she wants her mom nearby so she can get her to fetch stuff for her. Now me? I would rather rip out my stitches and fetch for myself. Maybe my seestor's Amish? I'll look for her bonnet when I'm there later on, fetching stuff for her.
Big day here in the Land O'Logic.
Remember last fall when I whined and cried and complained about the loss of my belove upscale neighborhood grocery store?
Remember?
Oy, was I a pain! You were very polite by not telling me to shut it.
I've been a lost grocery shopping soul ever since. Going here, going there, crossing the river, going out of town. Never to find a happy grocery shopping spot.
Until today.
A brand spanking new grocery store opened up in the old grocery store spot. I was askeered that it was going to be like one of those major acme grocery stores with bright lights and boxes of groceries on pallets perched above my head, ready to take a tumble.
Nay, it is not an acme conglomerate. While it's part of a chain, it's a chain that's not hoity toity yet it looks almost darned hoity toity. And I'm all about the hoity AND the toity when I'm shopping for supplies for my favorite pastime. Which would be Eating for those of you who don't know me very well.
I will have you know that I am currently enjoying Sushi for breakfast. Sushi that is better than the fancy schmancy old store's sushi as it is more bite-sized and cheaper in price.
So while my seestor is passed out on major controlled substances, her job is in jeopardy while I rave on and on and on about her company's competition. You see, my seestor works at the corporate office of the old Fancy Schmancy grocery store that used to be the grocery store love of my life.
Now before I start to look like someone who's 100% positive about my new grocery store, let me spew.
Old people.
They are the bain of my existence.
When I'm not bringing them smelly food on Tuesdays, I'll be trying not to murder them at the grocery store on Wednesdays. Or any other day I go to the grocery store.
The store is surrounded by Assisted Living Apartments. Literally. Ring of Old Fuckers. In Members Only jackets. And really really really big glasses.
And so today, on this first day of my coming back to my grocery home, I was thwarted in my attempt to actually shop due to the throngs of the Aged in search of free food samples.
They didn't even bother to pretend they were grocery shopping by taking a cart. Those old fuckers just wandered and clogged in and out of every grocery store aisle. Asking for free samples at the deli counter even when there were no free samples offered. Clogging and Asking. Asking and Clogging. It's like Arteriosclerosis of the Grocery Store Aisle. Let's call it Aislesclerosis. Clogging of the Grocery Store Aisles by Old Fuckers. Treatable by Lack of Flu Shots to the Susceptible.
I shouldn't say this, getting close to being Aged myself. But da-yamn you cheap, slow mother-fuckers! Go home and wait for your Food for Folks to be delivered! I think I recognized quite a few of them.
I just sent an apology e-mail to my husband. Sometimes I am an incredible bitch. You probably didn't know that about me.
10:26 a.m. - October 11, 2006
Recent entries:
just wondering - June 16, 2012
10 Years of Blogging - October 31, 2010
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