This is what I looked like before I picked up mom for our weekly Food For Folks deliveries.
I'd yelled at her before I even got out the damn door of her house. I was trying to tell her that a friend stopped by last night and was reminiscing about an old-time bakery that was his favorite. That old-time bakery just happened to be the bakery that was owned by my Aunt's parents. Remember that bride I sold on eBay? It came from that bakery.
Anyfrickin'way. I'm trying to tell my mom about this story that I think she'd like to hear as it involves her very own brother that died a few months back. But do you think I can get more than four words out at a time without being interrupted.
I finally yelled (not really "yelled" more like "mom!") at her and you'd have thought I'd already kicked her ass out of the car. Jesus. My children react more maturely.
Don't you be feeling sorry for her. She's getting on my last damn nerve.
Let me give you a direct quote, names changed to protect my precious children.
She said: "That Thing 1 is so handsome! He's more handsome than Thing 2!"
I said: "Mom! That's not nice!"
She said: "But he is!"
The only thing that saved my mother's life today is that our regular route was accidentally given to somebody before us. I do believe that everyone wants to be on my shit list today. Any more volunteers out there?
So I had to try and focus on where in the fuck I was driving while my mother threw out one non sequitur after another. So many that perhaps that was the theme, therefore they were no longer officially non sequiturs. Nay, they were a rollerfuckingcoaster ride.
I'm the one driving. I'm the one trying to read the driving directions we get from the Food For Folks people. I'm the one trying to read the damn street signs and then finding the damn house numbers on the damn houses as she hops from one partial thought to another, taking breaks now and again to complete a sentence that usually is offensive to me or my little family.
This is what I looked like by the time I got home. And let me tell you, I took a number of photos before I got one half-way presentable.
We have an update on the Driver's Permit. Thing 1 and I headed to the Community Ed's Driver's Ed office where I plunked down 300 smackers so my kid could get his little blue card and be told in very specific terms what would happen next. Complete with the letter they have that states each step in great detail. Bless the Driver's Ed office in the Community Ed department. They answered the most pressing question with a highly favorable (to me) answer: I can drop the kid off, as long as he has the proper ID and blue card and 9 dollars and 50 cents, then head across the street for a HUGE Vanilla Latte and wait for him in the comfort of a comfy chair.
And now, I think it's time to run out for a HUGE vanilla latte before I head to the grocery store to pick up properly edible items for various people in the family.
1:47 p.m. - August 29, 2006
Recent entries:
just wondering - June 16, 2012
10 Years of Blogging - October 31, 2010
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For Cosmic - June 29, 2009
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