February 22, 2007

A couple of Public Service Announcements for you guys this morning.

PSA #1)

Every time you buy an Enquirer or a Star or a tabloid of that caliber, you help supply a paparazzi jackal with a bag of chips for his stake-out bag lunch. Allowing him the opportunity to stalk celebrities as though they were the public's property and not human beings. This does not apply to the Weekly World News as they only seem to stalk outer space aliens, big foots, and lochness monsters. As of the date of posting this entry, they are not covered by anti-stalking laws.

When you see footage of Princess Diana's death and realize the hand that the paparazzi played in the cause of that death and the tasteless treatment while she lay their dying, you gotta ask yourself, was I the gal who purchased the tabloid that gave the gas money to the paparazzi who was in the car that drove them into the tunnel wall?

And if you are like my mother, you will say "Yes because I have a need to know what Paris Hilton is doing at any moment or how thin Nicole Richie is today. I am entitled to know each and every move of that little Lindsay Lohan!"

Of course, in an emergency situation, like when a friend's in the hospital and needs some entertaining or there's a road trip where the only thing that will keep a couple of gals awake is to read from the pretend journalism of tabloids, all that I wrote above doesn't apply. Especially if my mother tossed out her latest issues and I actually have to buy them myself.

And then there's the whole need to support photographers who stalk celebrities so that they don't become burdens on our tax system. Jackals have rights, too.

But really, what percentage of truth is even published in those things? I get all the fiction I need right from the regular newspapers. Or Fox news.

PSA #2)

If you have a daughter who was at one-time a heroin addict and she cleans up and gives birth to your grandaughter, only to relapse into a heroin weekend, and you don't know what to do, let me tell you. Here's what you should do in an no-brainer step-by-step way.

1) Get that grandaughter of yours out of the hands of the monster who could hurt her in any way, mental or physical.

2) Call the police and child protective services to start the wheels turning so that you can take over the legal guardianship of that defenseless child.

3) Your daughter has no right to be "trying" to raise that baby by herself. I believe that once a mother uses an illegal drug, all rights to childrearing should be permanently terminated and the baby should be handed over to a mature family member who can do right by that child or children. Oh sure, some people rehabilitate from narcotic addictions. But most don't. This is not alcohol. This is an illegal drug that is purchased in an illegal manner from a very evil, illegal & immoral sales person of the lowest caliber.

4) Go get that baby now and start making some phone calls. I don't care if you think you're done raising children. You're not done. Put your grandma panties on and deal with it. Right at this moment, your daughter could be strung out while that baby is about to fall out a window or be sold to the highest bidder as a sex toy so that your daughter can score her next fix. Can you live with yourself with that image in your head?

And this, my friends, ends today's Public Service Annoucements. Take heed, my friends. Take heed. Although if you need to suffer from one of the vices listed above, buy the tabloid before you buy the heroin.

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