I was pretty sure that little Scooter was a goner. She would not come out from behind the couch. I'd put a couple of blankets back there for her and she was content to stay hidden. When I'd take her out, she'd go back as soon as I let her. I was pretty sure I'd be running her to the Humane Society today for hospitalization.
I ran up to the Humane Society to pick up the liquid antibiotic they provided, free to me. I was worried that she wasn't eating at all so wouldn't be able to give her the crushed tablets in her food that the vet had given me.
When I pulled up to the intake door at the humane society, an older woman was carrying a pigeon in a plastic Target bag. It's little pigeon head poking out of an opening.
She ran ahead of me to get to the intake counter first. Ran. Crazy pigeon lady. Which was fine by me because that would mean I'd have something to share with you all. And that something went a little bit like this:
Crazy Pigeon Lady (CPL): "Oh hi there! God bless you! You and your people here do so much good for these little defenseless animals! God bless you! I think about you all the time and think nothing but good things for you beautiful people!"
Intake Guy (IG): "What do you have here?" as he brings out a cage suitable for a bird in a bag.
CPL: "I've got this bird. It took me $14 to get here by cab. God bless you people! I love you people! These animals are lucky to have you people! When I die, I made sure you people will have everything that is mine. God bless you people! He's blind and deaf".
IG: Opens the cage and lets her set the bird, still in its bag inside. He waits patiently while she fusses over the blind and deaf bird who seems to be looking right at me and startles every time she speaks.
CPL: "I love you people! Are there kittens here? Where are the kittens?!"
IG: "We have kittens. They're upstairs. Please fill out this form."
CPL: "Bless you! I want to see the kittens!"
IG: Turns his attention to me and says "Can I help you?"
CPL: "I think about you wonderful people all the time! Bless you! Bless you!"
Me: "I'm here to pick up..."
CPL: "A $14 cab ride is well worth it because I know you won't put him down. You won't put him down will you?"
IG: "No, the (blah blah blah-can't remember the name) people will pick up the bird and take good care of it"
Me: "...antibiotics..."
CPL: "Oh good! Bless you! This is why I'm giving you people my money. You are wonderful people. Where are the kittens?"
IG: "For?"
Me: "Scooter Logic" (well, not really, but you know what I'm saying and please, people, no more interruptions!)
CPL: "Upstairs? I love kittens! Kittens are so adorable! Bless you people..."
I then snatched the prescription and got the hell out of there because while I like to view these things and share them with you, I can only take so much before I start to want to take little old ladies, in their black leggings and yellow turtlenecks that match their yellow hair, by the way, and shove them into little cages that are the size appropriate for pigeons in plastic Target bags.
The bird craziness, however, didn't stop at the Humane Society. On the way home I stopped at the grocery store where some obnoxious fucker decided that we all needed to be serenaded with his very loud, very offkey, whistling. Up and down the aisles. Whistling like a crazy mother fucker. And when we all stood in line, he serenaded us more. Then he asked the cashier if she liked his whistling. The cashier, being professional said something about it being very chipper.
Wish I'd had a fucking chipper right about then. I'd have put that good old whistling boy in, lips first. Fargo-style.
Little Scooter is almost back to her peppy little self. She was sitting on top of the couch this morning, waiting for the Fancy Feast canned food the vet told me to give her, to make sure she ate. She takes her medicine very well and I'm thrilled that she's turned the corner this fast.
8:44 a.m. - April 11, 2007
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