It's funny. Someone (hi lap!) said something to me about how spending time with me can be grounding. That all's well with the world. And to think that I had the same sentiment in regards to a recent lunch with a dear friend of mine, who, without realizing it, helped me be okay with my stay at home mom status.
Not that I'm not okay with it because I am. It's just that sometimes, when I see how far some of my friends have gone in their careers, I feel a tinge of envy and nostalgia.
I sometimes feel guilty about how lucky I am. How smart I was to find myself in the position where I am able to make that choice. There are alot of people who look down their noses at me and sometimes I give those people too much weight. Heck, my mom was one of the first people who questioned my validity in the world because I had no "job".
So I had this cathartic conversation with my dear friend and I once again relaxed with who I am. I need that tweaked now and again so am very thankful for that gift.
And I was reminded again, just now, with how lucky I am to be able to just hang out around the house for my kids.
I'd driven Thing 1 to his final day on the job. A job he wouldn't have been able to have had I been at work because it's a job that he needs transportation to and from. I'm glad I was here to drive him. He has grown up a whole lot since getting it.
And then I came home and threw together a batch of Chex Mix, that Thing 2 has been asking me for all week. I finally got the final ingredient today (hello space cadet! pick up Seasoned Salt!) and was putting it in the oven when he asked if I was making it for him. I answered that I was and he said "I love you, mother" in a goofy voice. And while it was said silly-like, it just warmed up the cockles of my crustaceous heart and was a reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing. I gave up a powerful career possibility to raise thoughtful people. Definitely better than that huge expense account I used to have. Even if I could use it on alcoholic beverages.
Dang! What was I thinking?!
With Thor's health issues I've been a little knotted up for over a month. Now that Thor's health issues are moving in the right direction I have been able to let go and start breathing again. That plus being a woman in her late 40's, I have given alot of thought to friendships. Ones that I want to nurture and ones that I want to walk away from.
From what I hear around the tables of women in their late 40's, this is a big issue - the thinning out of friendships.
I can't believe how much better I feel just letting go of a certain group of people in my life. There was nothing said, no drama, I just walked away. And it feels like I have an incredible weight off my chest. I'd put up with alot of judgment and negativity for too long and feel better about myself already.
I've been spending more time with really kind people (Hi Dotty! Sue!) and making lunch and dinner dates with even more.
I'm at a good place right now.
And with the Chex Mix roasting, it smells awfully good over here!
5:01 p.m. - September 21, 2006
Recent entries:
just wondering - June 16, 2012
10 Years of Blogging - October 31, 2010
- - March 15, 2010
For Cosmic - June 29, 2009
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