Read this one fast - I'm about to move it to the Secret Diary!
You crazy kids. Don't think for nary a moment that I don't speak up to my mother. That's why we have the trouble we do. She says dumb shit and I respond with either something polite or something defensive.
Technically she never called me an asshole. She's the queen of loopholes. She merely said "That car next to you has a sticker that says 'I'm a Somali' you should have one that says 'I'm an Asshole'". I jumped right on her and said back to her, "Maybe you should get one of those for your own car". And she replied with "I'm not an asshole".
So, technically speaking in the language of Queen Loophole, she never called me an asshole so there's nothing for me to say to her that won't get an "I was only kidding" back at me.
I have battled with this woman for a very long time now. I figured that if I killed her with kindness, hence the invitation to join me in the delivery of meals, it might do us some good. Give us something positive to focus on. When all it's done is give us a battle of wittyisms. (new word, trademark - all mine)
We so funny.
I'm just going to tell her that I want to do this by myself for awhile.
Jenn, the last thing I'll do with her is make a weekly lunch date. Holy hell. That would give her an hour and a half to focus on me eating. She's had issues with my being "fat" since I weighed a whopping 100 pounds. I avoid eating with her as much as possible.
The driving and delivering was supposed to be a good, diversionary thing. Focusing on helping others. The woman has an iron-clad self-centered wall impervious by any force.
I just know that when I do address this issue with her, she's going to go into another one of her deep depressions where she will sit and cry for weeks on end. (Hey! Will one of my sister-in-law's coworkers run over and tell her she should kick up the taking my mom shopping to 11?! Thanks!)
Except for 1 girlfriend who is incredibly insane and hardly ever present (even when she's right in front of you) the only social life my mother has is her children. I am not walking away from her but I am cutting down face-time by once a week.
For those of you who have requested entrance to my Secret Diary, I'll be contacting you shortly with the info. So far, everyone who's asked will be allowed entrance to the wonders of my secret world! Oooooh! It's a Lalapalooza of Assholery!
Lunch with Carmelita at the Sushi place was fantastic. Carmelita continues to climb the corporate ladder. I'm so dang proud of her and one day hope to run her campaign for Boss of the United States of America. Even the president will have to report to her. I have this much faith in my good friend.
And the sushi was great, too.
Now, you can all stop worrying about me being walked on by Queen Loophole. I stand my ground. Constantly. Which is what's wearing me down. And oh, the guilt one gets having won a battle of wits with an almost 80-year-old! It's almost like me winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics.
For shame!
1:34 p.m. - January 10, 2007
Recent entries:
just wondering - June 16, 2012
10 Years of Blogging - October 31, 2010
- - March 15, 2010
For Cosmic - June 29, 2009
Here I Am - April 02, 2009
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