It's not that I hate old people, really I don't. I loved all of my grandparents, and except for my one grandpa who died in his late 70's most of them lived well into their 90's. They were truly old!
No. It's those Grocery Store aisle clogging ones who get on my nerves and a whole lot of the ones I bring meals to on Tuesdays.
The food was late today for some reason. Something to do with it coming frozen so having to spend more time in the oven. Instead of standing around with all the other volunteers, making small talk with them, mom and I ran some of my errands for a half hour. When we got back all the volunteers were gone and our bags of food were waiting for us.
The first delivery is to an assited living home. Every week there's this one old broad who refuses to smile. My mother has made it her mission in life to get her to crack one. The biddy has cracked half a smile just once. When my mom's done working on her she uses her widdle voice to talk all cute to the widdle old ladies. She'd pat them all on the head if she was taller than 4'10".
I once asked her if she wouldn't mind being talked to in a widdle voice. "Oh no! Not at all!" she replied. My Mom and her mad lying skills. She'd have a fucking fit if we patronized her like that. I think I'd be right in guessing that it would send her into a week-long crying fit. She spends alot of time crying because the wrongs she's suffered at the hands of her children.
I said to mom, before we made our last stop to the woman who never wants us to leave, "Mom, we've got to get in and out of there as quick as we can".
"Just tell her you have a doctor's appointment!" my mom replied.
"I'm not going to lie to her, mom. We'll just tell her that we have to run. No need to tell her why".
"That's not nice!" she said "She'll feel bad if you don't tell her why. There's nothing wrong with a little white lie".
"But then next week she'd ask me how my doctor's visit went and I'd have to lie some more".
"Oh you!" mom said "You're so damn mean!"
okay. that's me. me and my mean assertive skills where I don't lie. I'm quite the evil fucker, ain't I? zip it, debby.
The last broad outsmarted me again. I swear to you, if I can get into and out of her apartment in under 15 minutes, it'll be a miracle. She's usually asking me to do something. Move a chair. Adjust the air conditioning. Have the guy who's repairing the toilet explain to me what he's done so I can explain it to her. Read from the Store to Door menu. Haul some garbage down to the chute. Today I thought I was going to get away with a simple garbage hauling, but no, she had me replacing batteries in her t.v. remote control. After I did that and it still didn't work, I had to dig around in her messy pile of stuff to find more batteries.
I think she spends her week trying to come up with ways to make my stay longer. And I would except for the fact that she smokes like a chimney and I can't stand to be around the smoke. And my mom's got bronchitis so you should hear her barking when we leave. God forbid we could ask her not to smoke while we're there. Oh God! My mother would be humiliated! She'd never come again! She'd stay at home on Tuesdays and she'd cry!
hmmmmm...I'll have to ponder that one.
I went and voted after dropping mom off. 4 tables of check in. The one with my last name, first letter had a line while there was absolutely no one at the other tables.
The woman who checked me in, finally, had a comment about my Driver's License.
"Is this the new license?"
"Yes"
"Looks like hell"
"Thanks alot! I thought I looked pretty good in that photo!"
"What? No! Oh goodness! I didn't say you looked bad! I said the license looked cheap! I'm so sorry!"
Heh. I won't lie to you but I'll mess with your head when you open the door for me like that.
1:55 p.m. - November 07, 2006
Recent entries:
just wondering - June 16, 2012
10 Years of Blogging - October 31, 2010
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