It's not easy being neurotic, you know? Especially when your neurosis wakes you up at 3:50 in the morning, having you go over each and every word you said while making small talk with lots of acquaintences during your son's basketball game.
Like everyone else says nothing but the right thing at the right time.
I don't think so.
And so there I was, wide awake, going over silly conversations in my head and feeling guilty for having received a very generous Christmas gift from Sting when I have no Christmas gift for her.
Until 5:15 when I was able to focus on just one item alone: How much would you have to pay me to be a 5 a.m. local television news broadcaster, meaning I'd have to be up some time around 3 a.m. and I'd have to shower and get fluffed and wear a suit? With pantyhose!
Having that one focus overide my insecurities put me right to sleep. Actually so right to sleep that I went from wide awake to REM sleep immediately (I think) allowing me to have a cluster of dreams for the next hour and a half. I don't think I could have dreamt faster.
Or more accurate. I'm not a person to beat around the bush when I'm awake nor when I'm dreaming, I guess. I dream in Real World interpretations. There's no wondering about what my dreams meant when it's obvious that they meant that my oldest son is a slacker, my mother-in-law makes me crazy and Thor's nieces are way too mature for their age. In a good way.
When the alarm clock woke me up I just shook my head and rolled my eyes that my small talk would make me worry about what people thought about me at all. When it's not the middle of the night, I really don't care what people think about me. Especially people who are just acquaintences that I only run into at my son's sporting events or the grocery store.
My guilt about getting such a nice gift from Sting dissapated the moment I realized that I can take the bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream she gave me and make us that Bailey's Irish Cream Chocolate Cake I love and have her over for cake!
'Fess up. I'm not the only neurotic gal on the internet who worries she made have said the wrong thing during small talk on the fly.
I still can't figure out what dollar amount it would take to get me to be an early morning television broadcaster. Unless I could do it from my kitchen, with my hair sticking straight up, in my pajamas.
1:57 p.m. - January 08, 2007
Recent entries:
just wondering - June 16, 2012
10 Years of Blogging - October 31, 2010
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