Oh sure. You can't get cancer on your feet. I bet you can! One of you must know somebody who knows somebody who has an uncle or a coworker that lost a foot to cancer! And I'm finding it rather offensive that none of you would want a photo of my vaginer (rhymes with shiner) were it festering.
I think I'm going to keep talking about festering girly bits as long as my little brother continues to read this here on-line diary o'mine. It's fun to make my little brother squirm!
Sing the following little ditty that I just made up in my head to the old tune of Nothing Could Be Finer Than to Be in Carolina (in the morning!)
Nothing could be finer
Than a festering vaginer
in the, mor-or-or-ning
Nothing could be sweeter
Than the bunion on my feeter
in the, mor-or-or-ning
Alice, can you imagine how disturbing it would be to wake up from surgery by my girlfriend's husband only to find he'd plastered anything near my girly bits? Hooboy! That made up my mind right then and there...I'm going with mom's ortho. He's hot and everything but it's not like I'll run into him at his house! Where do I send the check for the twelve bucks I now owe you?)
Thor's tried Imatrex, it doesn't work. He has a prescription for another med in the same family and he's going to try it but we're trying to stray away from any meds if we can seeing as how, like I said in my last post, the dude's on a shaker full of cocktail pills already. I think it's time for him to start seeing a chiropractor. And a head shrink. I figure if he gets his head shrunk, his headaches will shrink, too.
Genius, ain't I?
It's the Pumpkin Spice Latte talking. I'm under the influence.
By the way, I bought myself a huge purse to match my latte. Kind of a golden orange thing. Big. BIG. Which is what I went looking for. I'm tired of the teeny tiny bags I carry. I want to be one of those women at the grocery store who plunks her suitcase sized bag upon the counter and takes about 10 minutes looking for her billfold. I have to entertain myself somehow, don't I? It's not like I have a job or anything!
While I was at the Fun Sisters I ran into an acquaintence of mine. Oh hell! I just realized she's also an acquaintence of my friend with the Hooters t-shirt. Shit! Another passed up golden opportunity. I could have told the acquaintence about it and then called my girlfriend to confess what I'd done.
Really. I should get a job. I'm just looking for trouble now.
Speaking of jobs, one of the women working at The Fun Sisters asked my acquaintence and I if we'd like to come work there. I told her I couldn't, I already had to work two hours a week (I like to pretend that I'm really too busy for such things). She was really working on us. It really would be an easy job. They're only open 5 days a month and the benefits are very important to gals like me. Gals in need of trendy, cheap purses. I told her I'd let her know. I worry that it might take the fun out of my trendy, cheap purse addiction.
You people have all the answers. Tell me, if you were me, what would you do about the purse store job? And don't be thinking it would be a good idea to get me working there, hoping my trendy and cheap purse addiction could be delivered to your homes! That's just selfish!
And I'm the only one allowed to be selfish around here!
Nothing could be finer...
1:47 p.m. - September 08, 2006
Recent entries:
just wondering - June 16, 2012
10 Years of Blogging - October 31, 2010
- - March 15, 2010
For Cosmic - June 29, 2009
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